How to Create Authentic Interactions that Transform Your Organization and Your Life

Running Time: 1:21



Tommy Spaulding

About the Trainer – Tommy Spaulding With more than twenty years of success in the corporate, political, educational and non-profit sectors, Tommy Spaulding has had life-altering experiences most of us only read about. Tommy’s career has been built on valuable and authentic relationships. More than a networking expert, Tommy has lead international organizations and forged friendships with leaders that are far more than “business card” deep. Tommy has garnered the respect of... Read More

It’s not just who you know but it’s how you know them, how you care about them, and develop those personal relationships with them. The book, “How to Influence Friends and People” that we all read really can get us to the third floor; the niceties of using someone’s name, writing thank you notes, looking someone in the eye. Handshaking, saying thank you, speaking about their interests, seemingly like you’re genuinely interested in them when you’re just genuinely trying to be interested in them. That can only get you to the 3rd floor and it might get you some sales. It might get you salesperson of the year. It might grow your company five, 10, 20%. You might live your life totally successful but you’ve missed what it tastes like to live on the 4th and 5tg floor with relationships. There’s a gentleman named Steve Farber… So what are the things that you need to do to get to the 5th floor? So I started thinking about that and there are really four or five things that came to my head. To get to the level of the 5h floor relationship it has to move beyond the niceties of saying peoples’ names, and saying thank you, and speaking about other peoples’ interests. You have to advance people. The first one is the Law of Advancement; advancing others. When you think about it, advancing others. When you go into a business relationship most people think what can I get from that person? My job is to take so and so lunch because I’m going to sell them my widget. I want to push my sale; that’s a transaction but how can I help advance them? So when you’re having lunch with your client are you listening to what their business needs? Are you listening that their daughter lost their job and that you might know someone in the industry that can help them? Are you listening that their son is in Peter Pan in the 7th grade and are you going to go to his play the following week? Advancing their family and their friends that’s the important thing about 5th floor relationships. When you go into these relationships you can’t go into it with what’s in it for me. You have to go into it with how can I advance this person and be successful? I remember when I first moved to Colorado and I was getting into the fundraising business to start my own nonprofit… The next one is the Law of Influence. Each of us have this influence. Each of us knows different people. Each of us has an influence of power that has relationships with different people that can help people but most of us we use that influence for our gain. For example, when I talked to you about Charlie Monfort that owns the Rockies you would think that I would call him up all the time and say, “Charlie, can I get free tickets here.” In the World Series when they played the Boston Red Sox a couple of years ago, “Can I get free tickets here?” I’ve never once called Charlie up and asked for free tickets. I don’t use my influence for self gain but I can tell you I’ve called Charlie 10, 15, 20 times and used my influence to help other people. “Can I get tickets for this nonprofit group?” Can you get one of your players to speak at this group?” I always use my influence for helping others so Charlie looks at me and sees me at a different light.